Pushing The Value of Creativity - My, 'Why?'

Dear Annie Rose,

I don’t have money, but daddy is still a very wealthy man.  While I adore your mother, the greatest miracle of my life was watching you and Madeline come into this world.  Shortly after you were born I heard Etta James, “At Last,” on the radio and wept:  “My heart was wrapped-up in clovers the night I looked at you.”  God bestowed fatherhood upon me the night you were born, a responsibility and joy still too great to comprehend!

Well, you are now registered for preschool!  Ouch!  You are playing on the doorstep of this great house of education that you will soon be residing-in for many years to come.  Listen, kid, I don’t care what you choose to become.  God gave us the task of loving you unconditionally, and celebrating your unique gifts. We do pray that you glorify the Lord in all that you do.  We will do our darndest to model this for you everyday, but ultimately the choice of how you live your life will be yours.  We just want you prepared.

This house of education I was talking about…its kinda old and needs a few repairs.  When things are broken, Dads seem to want to fix them even if they don’t know how.  You will learn soon enough, Annie Rose that life is neither fair nor equitable.  But if you feel moved by the Spirit to fix something broken (even if you don’t know how), and even if others think you are a nut job, I got your back.

The house of education you are about to enter is water stained and peeling eggshell white. I am not sure if that is even a color, or just a texture?  Anyway, I want to scrape and repaint every room before you get there.  I want to paint the ceilings with a fresh coat of empathy, the floors a durable coat of grit, the walls detailed with purpose, the long hallways covered with discernment…and the whole house illuminated by creativity.  Now that’s a house of education!

It’s insane, I know!!!  I don’t really know where to start, but they did give me a key (he, he).  Yeah, I will start with the parlor on the right as you walk-in…I’ll scrape and paint until others help-out, or they kick me to the curb.  In the meantime I’ll pretend like I am supposed to be there; the old confident-swagger trick.

Before we pack your lunch on that first day of school know this:  I don’t care what you learn as much as I care about how you learn, and especially how you see the world around you…and the way you treat others.  My advice; love the Lord, be a Renaissance woman…be creative.  

And if you see me emotional while listening to Etta James, you now know why!

Love,

Daddy

Putting Things in Perspective

I hate needles.  I have a visceral reaction to needles…I shutter when I am in proximity to one.  I have avoided them at all costs.  Our school nurse Jamie pled her case for me to help protect my family since the flu and infants don’t mix too well. 

I reluctantly made an appointment with her, but not before restating my complete aversion to needles.  I sarcastically asked Jamie if there would be someone available to hold my hand.  She responded with an email showing a Grizzly Bear poking his head through a tent door at a campground.  Her caption read, “WAY SCARIER THAN A FLU SHOT.”

I made an appointment with Jamie to receive the dreaded needle on Tuesday, but completely (or conveniently) forgot.  On Wednesday I manned-up and marched myself down to the nurses office located in the elementary school-portion of our campus.

I felt like a giant of a man striding past the wee-little coat racks and miniature furniture.  I seldom wander from my grown-up size habitat of the high school art building.  The door to the nurse’s office was open, but the light was out.  I peeked in and said, “hello?”  In the dark of the office, behind a screen I saw Jamie sitting with a little boy.  She was speaking softly and rubbing his back while he lay curled beneath a blanket.  Jamie gently indicated that it was ok to come in.

I sat myself down on the adjacent bed and was warmly greeted by nurse and patient.  The young boy sat up, offered a friendly greeting and shook my hand.  Although I had never met him, I immediately knew who he was, and why he was in the nurse’s office.

His name is Logan Schoenhardt and he is a second grader.  Not long after I sat down, Logan said as-matter-of-factly, “my cancer came back.”  Logan has been battling cancer for a few years.  After several remissions, the cancer has aggressively returned.  Our small school community prays regularly for little Logan and his family.

Logan said, “Look, they shaved my head again.”  I had never seen Logan without a hat and his thick bi-focal glasses.  Logan’s slightly-larger-than-normal cranium was marked by a spiraling-scar that ran from his temple to the far back of his head.  Logan was not bothered in the least by his appearance.

Logan asked why I was in the office and Jamie shared that I was receiving a flu shot.  I asked Logan how many needles he has received in his life.  He said with a wide smile, “a hundred, million billion.”  He then showed me the tube under his right arm, and between his ribs where he receives his chemotherapy.  Logan was resting from a recent treatment.

Jamie handed me a form to sign prior receiving the shot.  Logan noticed that I was left-handed like he was.  We talked about art and I shared that I teach his talented older sister in the high school whom he is clearly impressed by!  After a bit of small talk, Jamie sat to my right with the shot.  As I watched her tear the packaging, Logan (unprompted) walked over to me from his bed.  He stood directly in front of me, leaned on my left knee and held my left hand with both of his tiny hands.

I turned to see Jamie, but before my eyes could make contact with her (or the needle) Logan covered my view with his hand and guided my face to his.  He gripped my hand again with both of his, but this time squeezed repeatedly…like a beating heart.  His little hands were surprisingly strong.  Logan looked square into my eyes with his bright, unflinching stare and said, “now just look at me.”

Jamie administered my shot at the very moment his hands squeezed mine, and I truly felt nothing.  Logan softly, and compassionately said, “See that wasn’t so bad.”  Logan, a tiny second grader battling cancer, offered me his bravery, compassion, strength, protection, and love…for my flu shot. 

Logan had no idea of the impact he had made in that moment.  Nurse Jamie and I held-back the emotions we naturally wanted to express.  (Though I could not hold back my tears shortly after I left her office.)  Logan was simply being himself by modeling God’s love.

Well, I did asked for someone to hold my hand for my flu shot.  Thanks nurse Jamie, and thanks Logan! 

I no longer fear needles.

Please contact Joneen Monitto (jmonitto@masterschool.org) to inquire about how to donate to Logan’s extraordinary expenses.

The Procession

"The Procession," 32"x78", Oil on Linen.  

Collection of the artist.

I recently spoke on a panel along with a group of highly accomplished arts-professionals.  For my small, and not so highly accomplished part, I was asked to share with college students a many-hats-perspective of making a living in the arts.  I spoke of teaching high school and college classes, maintaining a private art studio, running a portrait painting business, selling original art, little lecture gigs at local art leagues, etc… Sometimes all of these things are happening at once, sometimes none of them are happening at all!  The point I shared was that an arts-career (for me) is nebulous, not linear! 

What occurred to me after the panel discussion was how unimportant a singularly defined art career is for me now.  I did not long for the amazing careers many of the panelists had.  I am exhausted by the extreme efforts I had made for prestige, to be “known” over the years as an illustrator, or portrait painter, or artist.  I think of my college degrees earned, the countless exhibits entered, and the studio we built.  Lots of moving targets with not real fixed position…no real “why.”

All things are no longer measured in direct relationship to my art.  Purpose has changed.  My purpose now?  To provide for my family.  That is it.  I aspire to all things good about being a Godly husband and father (in that order).  Yes, I frequently fail, but I am working on it.  The target is in a fixed position, and I have not grown weary!

To simply say how diminished the family-unit is within our broken society is a gross understatement.  One does not need to be a psychologist to see the walking-wounded, especially in the classroom: societal destruction caused by broken families…mother wounds, and especially father wounds.

I also see amazing family-units, in all shapes and sizes!   

The Procession is a symbol of our family-unit.  It is a profession of my role as servant leader to my family.  The message echoes the Christian pillars I aspire to model: to reject passivity, to earn an eternal reward, to accept responsibility, and to lead courageously as a man.  All of the sliding, turning, pulling, rolling, carrying, dragging, drifting, sniffing parts proceed toward a common light…in unison.

Today (anyway), I can discern my joy from happiness, my purpose from status.  I know my "why." It is the love of family I wish to share through my art…despite my career!

Goodbye Old Friend

I awoke at 5am this morning in preparation for the six-hour drive in my truck to pick-up my new motorcycle…well, a used one, actually.  A 2007 Ducati Monster 695.  I had searched online all summer for the right make, model, year, and mileage.  One I had “on the hook” was sold from under me last week, but this one…black and red, and pristine was on hold for me in upstate New York!  My precious.  I had cash-in-hand, the blessing of my wife, and a window of time to make the trek. Minutes before I was set to leave, I could not.

Life seems to come full circle.  Motorcycles were, after all, an in trickle part of my upbringing.  I mean, heck, I grew up in Laconia, New Hampshire…home of the oldest motorcycle rally in the world!  As a teenager I rode a street bike to school.  A Kawasaki Ninja 600, also black and red.  At one point or other most of my friends rode bikes. Call it status, call it culture, riding was just what we did.

‘I need an outlet,’ I said to my wife Kelly as she held our eleven-month-old daughter.  ‘I need to aim stress away from my home, to be in the moment, to be balanced, to feel revived,’ Yes, riding meets the criteria of those things. 

Am I selfishly placing my needs before my family's? Am I a petulant child, wanting a toy?  Am I worthy of such a luxury?  Will this really fulfill my need for an outlet?

I left the decision to buy the bike to Kelly.  She spent time processing the pros and cons (and costs) of welcoming a motorcycle into our family.  Kelly has no experience with the culture of motorcycling aside from what I had shared with her, and her visit this summer to Laconia Bike Week.  She recognized the value I had for riding and gave me her blessing to buy it!  Now it is my call…all clear! An easy decision for me, right?

Turns out not an easy decision at all!  We accept the inherent risks of riding.  I know my responsibilities of family, especially to my daughter Annie.  The bike is a luxury, particularly an exotic Italian one like a Ducati which, turns out, is very expensive to maintain.  The costs were an issue, but not prohibitive, not holding me back.

The decision to purchase the bike today hinged upon answering a question objectively:

Why do I feel that I need such an outlet at this point in my life!? 

The “reasonable” outlet of riding had quickly become living-out a fantasy.  The pursuit became too surface.  I had given-in to the seductive impulse of redefining myself with black leather, tinted shades, and decadent, “Ducati Red.” 

After taking a hard look, it seems I have lost my way.  When I put the “outlet” of a Ducati motorcycle in relationship to our beautiful art studio I began to have clarity.  It seems I am escaping from the fact that art has become detached from my roles as husband, father and teacher.  Buying a fantasy was way easier than the complexity of working toward weaving art (and our studio) back into the fabric of family.

There is nothing wrong with black leathers, a sexy motorcycle or the culture of riding!  I painfully must confess that the fantasy of riding was avoidance all along.  A distraction, not an outlet!  The way I need to aim stress away from my home, to be in the moment, to be balanced, to feel revived, is by art-making!

I will reconsider returning to motorcycling only when my priorities are back where they belong.  I am fortunate this lesson did not turn out to be an expensive one!

The iPad - More than Just a Tool

I seek to understand the culture of a technology that is fundamentally changing the dynamics of teaching, particularly in the subject of fine arts. I am an active part of the computer culture simply pursuing a better understanding of that culture. I use social media to teach a Digital Journaling course designed to help students create a responsible, creative, positive presence on the web. I am not exactly qualified to teach such a course, but have done so in response to an obvious need to help students navigate a culture for which the pitfalls are many. My use of technology has grown, in large part, to better understand the perspectives of my students.

Several months back my wife Kelly gave me a gift card to purchase the new Apple iPhone. She felt my worn-out, tattered flip phone (still sporting the antenna) needed an update. The gift was thoughtful and, at first, I was excited to “get on board” with this latest and greatest technology. I took my gift card to purchase a new iPhone on two separate occasions. Each time I walked out empty handed.

I still feel guilty to disappoint my wife by squandering her expensive gift. Kelly asked what my hesitation was in making this simple purchase. I struggled to articulate any one reason. Ironically, I have leaned-into technology, developing a website centered on social media. In fact, I focused the majority of my efforts while earning a second (very expensive) Master’s degree on the integration of technology into my art business, and classroom teaching.

The latest technology trend is the use of the iPad as a tool for both students and faculty in the classroom. This initiative has become a reality in one school that I work with. That hollow feeling that prevented me from purchasing an iPhone had returned. What was my problem? The iPad is, after all, just a tool for students and teachers to become relevant twenty-first century learners.

For starters, the iPad is more than a just tool…the iPad is an icon of a carefully crafted culture. I am sure I am not the only teacher who feels he is abruptly changing the “pace” of instruction to accommodate Apple. We lust over the iPad. Let’s face it, Androids, Kindles, Nooks and tablet-based technologies flooding the market are merely caffeine-free versions of Apple products.

Apple announced 2011 fourth-quarter revenues of $46.33 billion dollars; the largest quarterly earnings of any publicly traded company outside of the oil industry…ever! The frenzy to purchase the iPhone, and iPad forced Apple to close retail stores in Beijing, China. People are rioting to be part of this culture! Are we growing with technology like responsible educators or feeding hysteria? I am all for capitalism, but Apple does not have the education of my students at the heart of their mission.

Apple’s profits come at the high cost to student sensibilities. Teens represent a targeted demographic with rapidly declining attention spans. Multiple news sources including The Social Times.com cites the national average for the attention-span of American teens is five minutes…and shrinking! How then is tech-dependency any different than other addictions we react so negatively toward? Drugs and alcohol release endorphins to the brain…arrest development, etc. When I witness educational institutions implementing addictive technologies (without regard to culture), tech-dependency appears as damaging as chemical dependency. What is most alarming to me is the rate of such dependency.

A glacier endures tens of thousands of years of weather changes and survives…that is…until the glacier is melted to the point of exposing the earth beneath. At that point, the demise of the glacier is both rapid and imminent. A comparison of a glacier melting to dependency seems befitting. Interestingly, I saw a news report about a mountain village in Peru that was dependent upon the glacial melt for survival. The glacier has finally disappeared. Scientists and villagers are now hand painting…that is right…hand painting parts of the mountain to reflect the sun’s heat in an attempt to cool the rocks and “re-grow” the glacier! Will we, one day, need an app to re-grow student attention spans?

An important historical figure, Harold Speed writes, “The mind cannot concentrate on several things at once. And in planning a course of study it is necessary to divide the subject so that the mind may be concentrated on the difficulties to be overcome, singly.” Providing this type of clear and simple instruction is nearly impossible with overly stimulated students with limited attention spans.

I am not some old curmudgeon, isolated and detached from reality. I get it…the tools, the culture, the pace. I probably utilize technology more than most educators. I simply see what I see. I know in an instant if I have the attention of my students; I look in which direction knees, and shoulders and eyes are facing. My students associate iPad or iPhone with gaming, and messaging, and Tweeting, and texting, and music, and video, and so on. Turned on or off, the iPad remains a symbol of those distractions that I prefer not having between my students and me. The iPad is not addicting say you? Ever play Angry Birds?

Yes, an iPad is a global conduit to instant communication and information. But the mere access of knowledge is not power…the application of knowledge is power. An iPad in the classroom will not make a mediocre teacher a good teacher, or a mediocre student a good student. An iPad does not build character. I do get emotional when I see the tech culture taking away from the arts.

I see the increased value placed on the culture of technology rising in direct proportion to the evaporating value of fine arts in education.

Ouch! The investment of capital toward digital upgrades is necessary. I believe the fading emphasis for fine arts is an unintended consequence of the “promise” of this app/media culture. From my perspective, Fine Arts is in conflict with this culture.

The digital arts are essential, the computer is essential, global interconnectedness is essential…the tools of technology are essential! But the function of Fine Arts has shifted from being the rock for building aesthetic understanding, and creative development, to a mere nicety.

Do I hold the value of the arts too high? Perhaps. My view of arts culture is a lofty one…it nurtures creativity, abstract thought processes, and aesthetic sensibilities. Art culture establishes vocations, gives direction, builds empathy, fosters community, reveals gifting and purpose, for which students take ownership! When tools of technology enhance this mission, I am in full support. As an educator who sees the world through a Christian perspective, this is the culture that is edifying.

Beyond art principles, I aspire to help students see the relationships of their choices. I describe each student's "free will" like a weather vane, pointing in only one of two directions…toward God or away from Him. I do not disagree with the necessity of employing current technology in order to be relevant, and viable. I have only stopped to consider the relentless marketing machine we are joining-with that is insistent upon our students being dependent, instantly gratified, sold, impulsive, distracted, hyper self-aware. Facebook, Myspace, myCloud, iPad, iPhone, iMac, I, I, I, me, me, me… The prolific Christian author C.S. Lewis describes the worst sin of all to be pride.

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of others. Phillipians 2: 3-4

I surveyed several groups of my teen students and asked, ‘iPads in a classroom for educational purposes…good idea or bad idea?’ The immediate response was elation, a resounding “duh, of course it’s a good idea!” I then asked, ‘Is it possible to remove the distraction of apps, and focus on education, even if the teacher is boring?’ The overwhelming response was, “no.” One student quipped, “A teacher would need to be a BEAST of classroom management to stop kids from using apps!”

Truth be told, I do need to learn how to become a more interesting BEAST of classroom management. I am not anti-technology, nor do I wish to prevent the iPad from being implemented as a learning tool. I cannot, in good conscience, help my students be “in the world,” and not, “of the world” if I do not seek to understand a quickly emerging culture that is so clearly opposite and opposed to my own core values.

Surfer with Striped Bass

I have completed the second oil painting of an ambitious series of new work. The first was a panoramic painting about Majesty, visually translating Psalm 8. (See previous post). This new work is more narrative. Early sketches were merely a reflection of an intimate experience of mine learning to surf. Between sets of small waves, the water was calm. I had not sat back on my board. Looking down into the water, I was startled by a large dark figure by my legs. A huge Striped Bass was investigating me for what seemed like minutes.

While developing this new idea, I noticed how similar the posture of my surfer was to the Crucifixion by the Northern Renaissance great Vander Weyden. I painted the final work as an homage to Vander Weyden. The message of the painting, at least to me anyway, is contemplation of the Holy Spirit. I am enjoying working from my sketchbook and creating work that is inventive. I am working to be more rooted in imagination. More work to come!

First of a Series

I am adding finishing touches to painting #1. Each canvas is based upon a specific theme and is a product of playful sketches. I am working hard to paint and draw from my minds eye, not only from photo reference.

The theme for this first painting is Majesty, influenced by Psalm 8: (5 You made him a little lower than heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.6 You made him ruler over the works of your hands; you put everything under his feet: 7 all flocks and herds, and the beasts of the field, 8 the birds of the air, and the fish of the sea, all that swim the paths of the seas. NIV)

The work is not intended to be Biblical, but does challenge and affirm my own Christian faith. The goal is simply to create work that is a full visual expression...testing all aspects of my creative process and ability. Eventually, the paintings will be exhibited in hopes that they resonate uniquely with each viewer.

Paintings #2 and #3 are underway!