I hate needles. I have a visceral reaction to needles…I
shutter when I am in proximity to one.
I have avoided them at all costs.
Our school nurse Jamie pled her case for me to help protect my family
since the flu and infants don’t mix too well.
I reluctantly made an
appointment with her, but not before restating my complete aversion to
needles. I sarcastically asked
Jamie if there would be someone available to hold my hand. She responded with an email showing a
Grizzly Bear poking his head through a tent door at a campground. Her caption read, “WAY SCARIER THAN A
FLU SHOT.”
I made an appointment with
Jamie to receive the dreaded needle on Tuesday, but completely (or
conveniently) forgot. On Wednesday
I manned-up and marched myself down to the nurses office located in the elementary
school-portion of our campus.
I felt like a giant of a man striding
past the wee-little coat racks and miniature furniture. I seldom wander from my grown-up size
habitat of the high school art building.
The door to the nurse’s office was open, but the light was out. I peeked in and said, “hello?” In the dark of the office, behind a
screen I saw Jamie sitting with a little boy. She was speaking softly and rubbing his back while he lay
curled beneath a blanket. Jamie
gently indicated that it was ok to come in.
I sat myself down on the
adjacent bed and was warmly greeted by nurse and patient. The young boy sat up, offered a friendly
greeting and shook my hand.
Although I had never met him, I immediately knew who he was, and why he
was in the nurse’s office.
His name is Logan Schoenhardt
and he is a second grader. Not
long after I sat down, Logan said as-matter-of-factly, “my cancer came
back.” Logan has been battling cancer
for a few years. After several remissions,
the cancer has aggressively returned.
Our small school community prays regularly for little Logan and his
family.
Logan said, “Look, they
shaved my head again.” I had never
seen Logan without a hat and his thick bi-focal glasses. Logan’s slightly-larger-than-normal cranium
was marked by a spiraling-scar that ran from his temple to the far back of his
head. Logan was not bothered in
the least by his appearance.
Logan asked why I was in the
office and Jamie shared that I was receiving a flu shot. I asked Logan how many needles he has
received in his life. He said with
a wide smile, “a hundred, million billion.” He then showed me the tube under his right arm, and between
his ribs where he receives his chemotherapy. Logan was resting from a recent treatment.
Jamie handed me a form to
sign prior receiving the shot.
Logan noticed that I was left-handed like he was. We talked about art and I shared that I
teach his talented older sister in the high school whom he is clearly impressed
by! After a bit of small talk,
Jamie sat to my right with the shot.
As I watched her tear the packaging, Logan (unprompted) walked over to
me from his bed. He stood directly
in front of me, leaned on my left knee and held my left hand with both of his
tiny hands.
I turned to see Jamie, but
before my eyes could make contact with her (or the needle) Logan covered my
view with his hand and guided my face to his. He gripped my hand again with both of his, but this time
squeezed repeatedly…like a beating heart.
His little hands were surprisingly strong. Logan looked square into my eyes with his bright,
unflinching stare and said, “now just look at me.”
Jamie administered my shot at
the very moment his hands squeezed mine, and I truly felt nothing. Logan softly, and compassionately said,
“See that wasn’t so bad.” Logan, a
tiny second grader battling cancer, offered me his bravery, compassion,
strength, protection, and love…for my flu
shot.
Logan had no idea of the
impact he had made in that moment.
Nurse Jamie and I held-back the emotions we naturally wanted to express. (Though I
could not hold back my tears shortly after I left her office.) Logan was simply being himself by
modeling God’s love.
Well, I did asked for someone
to hold my hand for my flu shot.
Thanks nurse Jamie, and thanks Logan!
I no longer fear needles.
Please
contact Joneen Monitto (jmonitto@masterschool.org) to inquire about how to
donate to Logan’s extraordinary expenses.
